Letting Go
by Swordsoul2000
Summary: Winry realizes that she is not the one Ed needs. postmovie, onesided win/ed, roy/ed


Hello, just a little reaction to all the Ed/Win fics out there. Personally, I think that Ed thinks of Winry as a sister at most, and if Winry ends up with any Elric it would be Al. so a little realization fic for our dear automail otaku.

She couldn't stay here.

Ed was back from wherever he'd disappeared to with Al in the wake of that strange attack on Central 3 years ago. He was actually taller than she was now, for a wonder, and his face belonged to a man, not a boy. It was great to see him, no doubt about it, but it only took one look at his face when he'd seen General Mustang for the first time since his return that she'd understood. She, Winry Elizabeth Rockbell was not the reason that Edward Elric had returned for. She would always be his friend, but she would never be that special someone in his life. That place was reserved for another.

It hurt, more than she would admit, and more than it had when he'd disappeared not once but twice. Then she could still pretend, could still imagine what it would be like to have Ed as a prominent part of her life again, like it had been back when all of them had been kids before that horrible night when Ed and Al had tried to bring their mother back to life. Before Al had been reduced to an animated suit of armor, and Ed had become a State Alchemist to go tear the country apart in his search for the Philosopher's Stone. Before he'd cut her out of his life.

It was stupid, and Ed would be the first to tell her so. He would always return for automail repairs and upgrades and as for going back to the way things had been, Ed's motto had always been to move forward, not backwards. He'd even gone to extreme of burning down his home to keep himself from turning back and carried the date he's done so in his watch, as a reminder. Really, a relationship with Ed was a childish fantasy, right up there in the realm of unicorns and fairies. They really had too much in common for a relationship to work. They were both too hotheaded, both too stubborn, too absorbed in their different fields, alchemy and mechanics to find common ground. Plus, Ed had seen and done so much that she could never relate to, even before his first disappearance. They belonged to separate worlds now, and there wasn't anything she could do to change it.

But of all people Ed could have chosen, did it have to be her parents' murderer? She knew that that he was a good man, that it had been war that he'd been under orders; she even knew that he sincerely regretted what he'd had to do. Lt Colonel Hughes had told her once that he'd nearly committed suicide over the guilt, and his determination to prevent similar things form happening again was the driving force for his ambition to become the supreme military commander. She knew all that, and it didn't matter. General Roy Mustang was still the one who had taken her parents away from her, would always be associated in her mind with that terrible morning when the telegram had arrived with news that her parents would never be coming back.

But just because she blamed Mustang, didn't mean that she was angry at Ed for his choice. Ever since the attempted human transmutation, there had been shadows in his eyes, shadows that while faint, had never gone away. Shadows that he refused to share with her, which she could not speak to. Shadows that had grown and darkened each year that his quest for the Stone proved unsuccessful. Shadows that had taken over completely, so much so that she couldn't see the laughing boy she'd played with as a child in his face when she'd seen him briefly beneath Central.

Truth be told, she almost didn't know what to do with the Ed that had returned to her. The changes ran deeper than a change in height and a sharper face. He moved differently from the Ed she was used to as well, much more smoothly and gracefully as opposed to the numerous sharp movements that had been his norm. He was quiet, when the old Ed would have been swearing up a blue streak. It had scared her how relieved she'd been when she'd heard Ed call the general a "bastard" after living with an eerily polite Elric for about a week.

And that was the root of the matter. Ed was different now; she really didn't know him anymore, if she'd ever really known him. There were little things about him that just didn't add up anymore. He was wary around her now whenever she was around her tools, flinching almost imperceptibly when ever she picked up a wrench, or actually dodging when she tried to hit him over the head for being stupid. He'd never done that before, and she had no idea why. Al wasn't of any help when she'd asked him what was going on with his brother, saying only, "it's Nii-san's business" when she questioned him. Oh, Ed was still her friend, he'd teased her about grease in her hair just yesterday, but the brash, arrogant youth he'd been had faded away to reveal a jaded, haunted and wary man, and she didn't know how to reconcile the two images.

Somehow, she had the feeling that Mustang would be able to heal the emotional wounds that gaped so horribly on Ed's soul, if for no other reason than he'd been though hell himself, and would be able to guess what caused them without asking. After all, he'd been about Ed's age when he'd become a State Alchemist and been sent to Ishbal, when he'd been sent into a war zone that was so horrible even over ten years after it had ended, with a regime change and a new government dedicated to finding out the truth, much of the exact details still unknown. The survivors were still, after all this time, too shell-shocked to talk about it. Mustang would be able to understand Ed, if for no better reason than he'd been through hell himself.

So she was leaving. It was running away, and she knew it, but she didn't care. She just wanted to curl up in her bed with one of Ed's old automail limbs for comfort, at least until she finished crying over things that would never be. After all he'd been through; Ed deserved happiness, no matter who he happened to find it with, without her getting in the way. Even if that happiness had no room for her.

Owari

My feeling about Winry is that she just doesn't understand what Ed has been through, that she never completely realized what they were going up against while Ed and Al were searching for the stone. Mustang does, if for no better reason than Ed's periodic reports. Also, Ed would have brain damage within a month if he had a relationship with Winry, due to constant blows to the head. You know, I've only found one fic where I've found an explanation for why Ed allows Winry's constant abuse. Yes, abuse. If she hit in the wrong spot even once, she could kill Ed, and I'm honestly surprised no one has written a fic that addresses the issue more strongly. I'll stop ranting now, and address my next sentence to all the Roy/Ed fan girls out there: Those two deserve each other, if only because both of them are the only one who can truly understand each other. Roy/Ed is LOVE!!!!!

Reviews are begged for on bended knee. Pretty please, with some roy/ed plushies on top?


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